Things I've Learned.

During my lifetime I have always managed to spend considerable time out of doors getting away from whatever needed getting away from.

Over those years, I have learned a few things about communing with nature that never seem to get mentioned on any of the "outdoor" programs I occasionally watch on TV.

Some of these gems are remembered from my childhood days (not necessarily outdoors related), but most are things I learned from hunting, fishing or photographing in the great outdoors, and all have happened to me...either directly or indirectly.

Learned at an early age.

* Smaller brothers don't always stay that way.

* A second grade teacher who cries when we sing "silent night" is a keeper.

* Our dog didn't want to eat my vegetables either.

* Almost anything can be used as fish bait.

* Caution comes in handy when skinning catfish.

* A balogna sandwich taste better the farther you are away from civilization.

Learned during high school.

* Always assume the electric fence is working.

* Sometimes the path less traveled is that way for a reason.

* Always watch your backcast.

* No one ever owned too many Coleman lanterns.

* Rod tips and truck doors are best kept apart.

Learned during college.

* Gates and truck doors make more noise after dark.

* After falling from a boat, try standing up before panicking.

* Fish that make your heart pound should be landed with a net.

* Animals are animals, and humans are humans. Be wary of those who confuse the two.

* Sandy roads are better when wet...dirt roads are better when dry.

Learned after college.

* Dad was right.

* Size rarely matters. Largemouth bass fishing is one exception.

* Never throw away the instructions to a new tent.

* Whoever said "never touch the inside of a tent when it's raining" wasn't kidding.

* Waterproof usually means water resistant. Water resistant usually means nothing.

Learned as young adult.

* No one has ever sold anything below cost.

* The more tags on something the more it cost.

* Anti-hunters are merely one coyote-eaten pet cat or pet dog from seeing the light.

* Whatever the weather report says, be prepared for the opposite.

* It's true...duct tape, bailing wire and a pair of pliers are your best friends.

* Always pack the alarm clock, flasklight and toilet paper first.

Learned as older adult.

* Always duck when testing the corn feeder.

* Regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they are gone.

* Firearms are only an investment if you plan to sell them.

* Never completely trust that the drain plug is engaged in your boat.

* "Cabela's" likely comes from a Latin word meaning "world's largest daycare center for men".

* A GPS isn't worth crap unless you know how to use it.

Learned as outdoor photographer.

* The West Texas sunrise doesn't happen on it's own.

* Don't drink caffeinated beverages or coffee before you put on three layers of clothes and insulated coveralls.

* If you build a photo blind in a prairie dog town, make sure it is snake proof...and bring a flashlight to check before crawling inside...just in case.

* Yes, a snake can fit through a crack that small.

* New camo clothing and barbed wire are naturally attracted.

* Don't try to slide through a barbrd wire fence with a fanny pack on if you are alone; actually, don't try to straddle over one either.

* If a rancher says it's just over the hill, pack a lunch.

* If he says you can't miss it, make darn sure he goes with you.

* Don't set up your photo blind in a bull pasture.

Learned as a grandparent.

* Grandchildren and grandparents are natural allies.

* An hour fishing with grandkids will teach them more than a week of television.

* The world's best babysitters are Zebco rods and reels and Daisy BB guns.

I HAVE A LOT MORE TO LEARN.